How do I pierce my own septum?

Okay, Before people start sending me "how to" YouTube videos or start going into cardiac arrest telling me NOT to pierce myself, I don't REALLY want to know how to pierce my septum, I just needed a simple default question. What I REALLY want to know is: (And note that this is a stupid question), But could I use Orajel to numb the area that I wanted to pierce IF I were to do so? I do not plan on piercing myself. I'm just asking out of curiosity. Another question (just out of curiosity) what would be the best home-object to pierce my septum with. Something not as pointy as a needle or safety pin, But could still "do the trick"? Also, When getting your septum pierced professionally how long does it take? I have two different friends get it done and one said it didn't really hurt it all and it took about a minute. The other one cried and said it took like 5 minutes. Is he just being a pansy or does it all depend on your tolerance for pain? Thanks!